Season 9 Season 1 Recap Under Bridge, Episode 1


Under the bridge

One more step towards world domination

Season 9

Episode 1

Editor’s Note

3 stars

Photo: Well done

After his first episode of Under the bridge, my lingering image of Captain Sean is rearranging the furniture for him. Once again, the Stud of the Sea is missing the start of the season for medical reasons (hoping Bravo comes up with a good medical insurance plan!), Although this time around he won’t be rushing to save us hours more. late. Instead, Eddie – Eddie 3.0, notice, after getting his first officer stripes at the end of last season – gets a pre-season call that Captain Lee won’t be able to do the first charter. Instead, we’re stuck with Sean Meagher, the yacht’s delivery captain who is delighted to be sticking around for his 15 minutes of fame. He’s clearly speaking to the cameras on this episode, talking about a great game about being “an explorer” and a bigger one about not being afraid to fire people. . But it’s chatter, and it doesn’t take long for us to see what kind of captain he really is: a micromanager who needs everything to be. such, from pillows on the deck on a windy day to the workout area, I have never seen a guest use the first beach picnic of the season. Haven’t you missed Captain Lee already?

I’m taking a little head start anyway. We’re back on board My Seanna for another, and hopefully complete, season after the beginnings of the COVID-19 pandemic cut short the last. And again, we have a largely new crew, now down to the captain. Heather, our third stew in three seasons, joins Eddie and Sean, a fact I’m not crazy about after Francesca got a little boring last season. I can’t say yet if 25-year-old Heather (!) But maybe someone else from our new indoor team can. After eight seasons of Under the bridge, six seasons of Mean, and two seasons of Sailing ship, the producers have ultimately hired a bitchy gay steward. His name is Fraser, he once worked on a boat and he is an avowed perfectionist. (And yes, I know he’s actually our second gay steward, but Josiah was one of the cutest crew members this show has ever seen – no bitch.) My Seanna, Fraser quickly assesses Russian-style stairs; in his first confessional, he declares, between two sips of espresso: “If I could have someone serve me, it would be myself.” I am already obsessed.

The interior team is complemented by Jessica, who has worked solo on a few boats. On the deck, we have Jake, who has good deck experience and looks better; Rayna, the first crew member to develop a crush on Jake (but far from the last); and Wes, who switches from sailboats to motor yachts for the money. With (almost) everyone on board, Captain Sean sets up a quick crew reunion, in which he admits he’s a bad manager – “I’m not very good at cracking the whip, but I am excellent at swinging the ax, “he said, a line he has surely repeated before then. Next, Heather has a reunion with her stews, in which Jess admits that she loves laundry, doing so. Under the bridge history and secure the third stew position.

Then there she is, walking down the dock, herself looking like a charter guest dressed in all white and a sun hat: Chief Rachel. If I didn’t make it clear enough last year, she’s been one of my favorite new additions to this show for a while, and her return is my other dream come true this season. Eddie sums up perfectly why Rachel is such a great reality TV character: she is “damn talented, completely crazy.” And in her first confessional, she proves that not much has changed except her freshly dyed red hair. “I like short men – I like to play a game, like, ‘Where’s your penis, honey? She said of Captain Sean, her temporary boss.

The crew spends the rest of the day and the next morning doing a lot of cleaning and not much else. Then we get our first charter, led by Nikki Foster, who works in “broadcast” (but clearly isn’t a journalist if she can afford the vacation). According to her preference sheet, she and her friends want “only rich bitch shit.” They arrive with fabulous hats but questionable tastes – especially the woman who wastes no time asking Fraser for a chocolate martini. At three o’clock in the afternoon! In the Caribbean! He describes it (rightly so) as “a drink I’ve only heard of in my nightmares,” but actually one that lives up to it with Google’s help. This is where Fraser’s troubles begin, once Heather notices he’s left the messy bar and asks him to clean it up. To be fair, he’s handing out food and drink to the guests, while Jess struggles to make lime juice and Heather is somewhere. Something doesn’t seem right about the way the work is distributed here.

In the kitchen, Eddie and Rachel have a terse exchange that leaves me wondering where things are with each other after Eddie became Rachel’s # 1 detractor last season. Will things stay calm between them, or will their tensions eventually ease? (You know I hope for the last one.) At dinner, things are already bubbling inside. While Jess is, for some reason, doing laundry during dinner service – for some seafood extravagance, Not less! – Fraser struggles between periods of preparation and serving. “There is no plan at the moment,” he said in a confessional, and I think he is right! Having Fraser in the service and “housekeeping” and Jess in the laundry and junk doesn’t work, which Heather finally seems to realize and leads Jess to refusals.

Guests spend the night enjoying the truth or the action NSFW Jenga game they requested for their slumber party, with actions and truths courtesy of Captain Sean and Eddie. Meanwhile, after washing the dishes, Jake confesses to Rayna that he “loves” her. And after an exchange with Jake in the galley, Fraser becomes the second My Seanna crew member to develop a crush on Jake.

The next morning begins with Jess’ longest beep as she stumbles into the crew’s mess. For breakfasts, diners enjoy the Benedict crab-cake and French toast, except for the one who ordered “just the Benedict crab, no eggs, so no real Benedict, just the crab”. However, Nikki doesn’t have as much fun after breakfast when she calls Heather into her suite to show her that Fraser left a trash bag behind during the prep times. In a confessional, Heather says it’s “a rookie mistake,” which is true, but she still doesn’t seem to know how much she made Fraser scramble between booths and service last night. His solution? Asking Fraser, whose job as second stew is ostensibly to be on duty, to pay close attention to the master suite – without even telling him what the principal’s complaint was! “Takes me on housekeeping, then asks me to be on duty,” Fraser says as he cleans. “Confused with your management skills, my dear. ” Same!

To his credit as an annoying twink, Fraser has no problem letting Heather know all of this. So he calls Heather in the master suite to tell her he’s okay with being on duty (and the guests seem to like him), but he can’t focus on that and the housekeeping at the same time. “I can’t take over if there is,” he said. Heather entertains her spiel, but then, in a confessional, explains that she has “a bigger picture at stake” and “there is no room in yachting for mistakes.” But hearing her say that, I couldn’t help but wonder: is the real mistake the way Heather manages her team? (In my expert opinion, yes!)

Which brings us back to this beach picnic setup (which is actually on a pier near the beach, for some reason). There’s already an epidemic of mismanagement on this yacht, between Heather and Captain Sean as well, who for some reason is running this picnic set up on the beach, which I don’t think I’ve seen before. a captain do before. He keeps calling Eddie on the radio for more and more cushions because, in his words, “I think it will be a lot of fun” – except it’s not for the guests, who don’t stop. no bothering Fraser about when they can get to the beach. They’re already 25 minutes late, but Sean asks Eddie for another half hour and 20 more pieces of furniture. I can’t wait to see what Sean says to the crew when they get a shitty tip after this charter. More importantly, like Eddie, I can’t wait to see Captain Lee get back on board this yacht and put things back in order. For now, we’re left with Captain Sean’s radio calls of “Eddie, Eddie?” Echoes in our heads until next week.

• The V-necks of this season’s uniform are proving surprisingly controversial among the crew. “I look like a European pop star,” says Fraser.

• Why doesn’t Jake want the bottom bunk in his cabin? “Because people’s pubis falls on my bed. “

• Other reasons not to like Captain Sean: he tells Eddie, a fucked up first officer, that he miscalculated the distance to a nearby boat, and he says the phrase “bada-bing, bada-boom” while talking about his own skills as a captain.

• I can already say that Fraser will be a great actor because he talks to himself. The. Slim. Time. “This is grotesque,” he said, cleaning a guest’s shower.

• The most important detail of the teaser for the rest of the season, unless I fantasize about it, is that Jake and Fraser are kissing! A lot!!! But Fraser isn’t the only one fighting for Jake’s body and affection. “Jake is gonna be like the motor yacht My Seanna bike, ”says Rachel. “We’re all going for a ride. “

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